(miscarriage, born sleeping, loss of child, loss of parents, partners, life changes, hysterectomy, and more)
Healing and grief aren’t linear, but closing of the bones really helps release these somatic memories, in our bodies from intense traumas. Interestingly, new research is also showing that it is likely not adrenaline, but osteocalcin (which is released by the bones of our skeleton) that drives the stress response - our bones have memories! Trauma can leave imprints in our energy body that influence our current life. These imprints cause us to attract people and experiences that recreate and repeat the traumatic stories.
Ultimately, creating ceremony around traumas and loss helps to draw energy back to your creative center: your wombspace. By closing this open birthing pattern of our hips, and pelvis, we are able feel more balanced in this emotion center of our body. By first healing your bones, your body, you are more able to release attachments, continue on your life after loss, and integrate your maiden, mother, and crone identities.
Typically, a closing of the bones ceremony begins with a tea ceremony, I come to you and I brew us an herbal tea, witness your birth story, as well as your loss story, and anything else in between that you need to share.
Some mamas really enjoy taking time to write these down in a small notebook. And we just incorporate that into our ceremony. Knowing that those experiences, as long ago as they have been are written down on those papers.
For ceremony you are fully clothed and are comfortably lying on a mat and/or blankets on the floor, supported by cushions and bolsters where needed.
Here we set an intention, Around the theme of coming home. We invite all the threads of yourself that may be have been scattered during the birthing process and grief process to be pulled back together.
Energetically it will bring you together by holding your energy close. Like a fabric womb, We begin to wrap you up snugly in 10-12 rebozos gently sift/rock each one. ‘sifting’ , allows the lower vertebrae to be released and allowing mobilization of the pelvis and hips. We take our time for this process, and with all steps of the Closing the Bones you as a client are in control and get to decide the pace, rhythm and intensity of the movement and touch.
After sifting the rebozos are tied with a comforting pressure, and then I lay hands on your bones with a gentle pressure, we release, affirm your mind, heart, body, and womb space.
As a sacred red drum carrier, it’s an honor to guide you through a drum journey as you lay in this calming space. Sometimes stones, flower essences, feathers, flowers, and essential oils are used too. I have a mother roasting tool box I bring along full of all the treasures!
Once ‘closed’ you are able to lie quietly as long as you wish or need while gentle music can play. Emotional release is possible and I will hold the space for you to go through this. The firm hold of the cloth allows you to let go and go deep inside. You decide when you are ready to be unwrapped.
The ending of the ceremony is accompanied with a ceremonial bath, which I draw for you. I have a menu of bath choices, from milk and honey, Himalayan salts and more.
I unwrap you slowly, and quietly excuse myself. When you feel ready, you leave anything that isn’t serving you with Gaia and go soak. ❤️
****I am aware the grief presents itself differently, and each situation and story requires specific care and has different needs. This service is completely customizable to your exact needs and desires, and the order can also be done in reverse, where you start with a bath drawn by me, and as you bathe I set up our ceremony space. When you are ready, you join me and you share your birth and loss story, your truths, and then we wrap you up. Upon the end of the ceremony, we can have a reintegration together with a tea ceremony. But really the options are endless. You deserve support.
Know that Closing the Bones ceremonies can help to mark major times of transition in anyones life, marriage, divorce or the end of a relationship, moving home, loss, miscarrige, transitioning between jobs... And its magic doesn't end there: it can also be used to support men, women and children who suffer from anxiety, shock, trauma (sexual or other), PTSD, ADD, autism, or who feel overwhelmed or over-stimulated. All of this is to say, you can experience this deeply healing ceremony whenever you want to honor your body and give your bones some love.
Pricing for this kind of support is heavily discounted, on a sliding scale, to make sure that all mamas who need this healing are able to receive it. Let's talk about how we can close your bones, and bring some comfort and healing.
Experiencing the loss of a pregnancy, infant, or child brings unimaginable pain and grief, and can make you feel alone and lost. We want you to know that there are good resources for your loss and grief that provide non-judgmental support,information, and connection with others. We’ve listed some below and hope that you find them useful. Please also look at this international support map for resources near you.
If you are recovering from the loss of a loved one due to suicide, please visit postpartum.nets resource page dedicated to the memory of those we have lost.